Author: diannabell

No Strings Attached?

Movies, Music

There have been an onslaught of movies about sex-only relationships between women and men. No emotional ties.

Before we delve in, let’s have a little mood music. Marvin, if you please…

By onslaught, I mean two movies this year with extremely similar plots. No Strings Attached with the beautiful Natalie Portman and the annoying Ashton Kutcher and Friends With Benefits with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, with a brief appearance by Emma Stone. I’m automatically a fan of the latter because of that appearance. I love Emma.

So everyone has urges. And if you aren’t in a relationship, and have no desire to be in a relationship, how do you satisfy these urges? But of course! You grab a pal and hit the sheets, couch, car, floor… All while maintaining a “just friends” policy.

Yeah, right.

I get that we’re all liberated now. We can be honest and open about sex. That’s nice. I myself enjoy discussing it.

But just because that’s the case doesn’t mean that we can erase the emotions that come along with it.

It’s inevitable that in the “strictly sex” someone will want more than the physical. That’s what the characters in the movies indeed discover for themselves.

And every other movie where two friends have sex and then it changes their relationship irrevocably.

I could be wrong. There may be that magical exception to the rule out there, but I highly doubt it. Those people are probably lying to themselves or one another.

Why?

Probably because they want to feel like they are highly evolved. Maybe they are trying to hold on to a person they love. Maybe they love sex and like the person they are doing it with.

The mind is a complex thing. We feel things for reasons that can’t really be explained and dissecting exactly why people do the things they do, is basically impossible because everyone has different motivations.

And the differences are when people in these “no strings attached” relationships tend to part ways. Or decide to try a relationship with plenty of strings and knots.

Even though we have movies telling us that a sex-only policy doesn’t work, people will continue to try. Humans love sex. It’s engrained in our very fiber. It’s a basic necessity. It’s in our nature. Literally.

(In high school, I took Advanced Placement Psychology, so I’m obviously able to diagnose psychological tendencies now…but what I took away from that class is that sex is one of the basic needs of humans. Along with food, sleep, and defecation.)

Hollywood can keep trying to educate the masses on the feelings that accompany sex, and we will continue to ignore it in favor of pleasure.

So buyer beware. Have a sexy good time, but know there are always strings.

Now for a fun song to end this less than pleasurable post.

 

 

Music to my ears.

Music, TV

I love driving and I love listening to music while I drive.

I crank it up and roll the windows down. It just sounds better with the wind whipping my hair around. (You know. Like a sexy model.)

But seriously, it’s just my thing. It calms me down. Relaxes me.

So tonight while I was doing this, along with singing as loudly as possible, I thought of some of my favorite musicians. I’ll give you a couple that spark the fire in my soul.

Let me start with Ryan Adams. Not Bryan Adams, the Canadian star who brought such hits as “The Summer of ’69” and “I Do It For You.”

The one who married Mandy Moore. Ok. Now that I overly clarified, let me delve in.

Adams is the kind of singer who makes me wish I was sitting at his feet (or beside him) while he’s playing his acoustic guitar. I picture dancing under twinkling lights on a warm summer night.

“When the Stars Go Blue” is a perfect example of this whimsically romantic feel. And I am a romantic. A slightly cynical romantic, but all the same. (Tim McGraw did a version of this song and tends to get the credit. But make no mistake. Adams wrote this song.)

“Where do you go when you’re lonely? Where do you go when you’re blue? Where do you go when you’re lonely, I’ll follow you. When the stars go blue.” I’m melting.

I like the idea of someone chasing after me when I’m upset or being so concerned when I’m the least bit sad. It’s every girls dream… Thanks a lot Janet Evanovich. You’ve ruined me.

Next, Joan Armatrading. I haven’t listened to a great deal from this person, but I discovered her while watching one of my favorite shows Sons of Anarchy.

She’s no Ryan, but hey. Armatrading hails from England and has toured with Eric Clapton and Bob Dylan. She’s got soul and has continuously revised her sound throughout her career.

“This Charming Life” is another song that makes me swoon a little. Joan sings about being so in love with a person that you want to be around them all the time. “I want to be with you all the time. Every day, every night. Don’t mind deja vu.” The lyrics aren’t exactly sparkling with originality and witty prose, but it has a catchy beat.

There are many more songs that get me going, but I’m a little brain dead after an evening run. Here’s a little running advice. Never eat a ton before running. It really messes up the stomach.

Post-College.

Boston

So I’ve been out of school for almost two months now. A fast two months.

And the only thing I have to show for those two months is a wrecked car (that has been newly fixed) and three rejection e-mails from employers.

So far, the post college life hasn’t been full of success.

That being said, I’m not discouraged . . . yet.

In another two months, give or take a few days, I’m heading to Boston. Why? Honestly, just to get out of the same small-town I’ve been in for the past 14 years. Not that I’ve been counting.

But as the days tick down to the moving date, I’m starting to feel that pit in my stomach. The dread of having to leave the safe familiarity of home for the unknown.

And then I start thinking of all the worries.

I worry people won’t come visit me. I worry I won’t make friends. I worry that I’ll hate the city.

But most of all, I worry that I won’t find a job. And then I won’t be able to pay my rent. And then I’ll be homeless.

And then . . .

That’s just the self-pity talking. Mostly, I’m excited. But I am going to miss all of my friends. My family too. But that’s all normal.

And I really have no idea where I’m going with this post exactly.

But don’t worry. They won’t all be like this.

Some will be about movies I see. Some about sights. Some about interactions with crazy people. A few about my cooking and baking adventures.

A lot will probably be about the ridiculous amount of Netflix I watch. Does someone want to pay me to watch tv shows and review them? Because I would be awesome at that.

So my next post will probably be about my favorite tv shows.

Look forward to that.

Future home.